Join Your Own “Anonymous Alcoholics” Group to Change Your Habits

This article is totally NOT for people who have a problem with alcohol. It is for the people who have sometimes a problem with self-management. Ok, just in case I did not use the right term in English, as per www.reference.com: “The best definition of self-management skills is the personal application of behavior change tactics that produces desired change in behavior.” If you did not get it, me neither. If you got it, you can stop reading here.

Self-management for me is to go beyond my comfort zone, to break behavioral patterns that no longer serve me and to develop new habits in the end. And for that, I need to have a lot of will, motivation and perseverance. Have you noticed how hard it is to change a little habit? And have you noticed how easy it is to develop bad habits? Like taking my smartphone to bed and still go on-line even though I know it will not help me fall asleep and I will get caught in the spider net for the next half an hour which I will be missing in the morning.

There are 3 ways how you can develop a new habit:

1. You start regularly doing something that makes you happy and you enjoy it every day. I am afraid, it is often all the bad habits (well, not only, but you know..). These habits come from the heart – positive emotions.
2. You are obliged to do something regularly. Like your parents obliged you brushing the teeth twice a day. They were reminding you, insisting, motivating, sometimes even using manipulative techniques not to let you go to bed without brushing the teeth. These habits come from external pressure. And for adults, if this pressure comes without their permission, it can easily become a source of frustration, stress, and anger.
3. It is your own rational decision to change a certain behavior because you simply know it will be good for you. Like going to bed earlier, doing sport, meditating, paying attention to you closest instead of spending time on-line or even developing new soft skills. These habits come from the brain – the rational side. These are extremely difficult to develop. Unless..

It is extremely difficult to develop new habits by taking a rational decision unless you add the two first components, positive emotions (joy, pleasure) and an external pressure (accountability).

If you want to develop a new habit where you have no external pressure, you already know it will be hard and not very enjoyable, you need to find the ways how to add the joy and a gentle external pressure.

Now I am coming to the topic of Anonymous Alcoholics.  Well, the concept is more complicated than that, but imagine that you are developing your new habit in a group of people who are struggling with the same! The accountability of the group is very powerful as it is harder to break the promises to the group than to yourself. You see how others are advancing or struggling and this motivates you (and sometimes entertains as well). If you like a teamwork, you will definitely enjoy the team spirit and the support.

So find a group of like-minded people and join the team! Set objectives for a long run and for every day. The regularity makes the habit strong and anchored in your routine. Hold yourself accountable and the others too.

Then it is up to you how you can insert the joy in the process. But think about it, please! Enjoying what you are doing is CRUCIAL for the success.

With my friend Jana, we are having a group of 21-day challenge for all people who want to develop new habits and want to benefit from the support of the group to succeed. If you are ready to change something, join us here.

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